


Tainted

by Deans_Fetish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Male Slash, Original Character Death(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-03
Updated: 2012-11-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:55:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8732095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deans_Fetish/pseuds/Deans_Fetish
Summary: Dean comes back from Hell, Sam's different and Dean's made promises he has to keep.





	

I've been back from hell for a week now, haven't touched Sam except to hug him that first time. I look at him and I can see and feel the changes in him. He's not who he once was, not the innocent guy I left behind four months ago.

Now he's dark and there's an evil about him that I can't shake, no matter how many times I tell myself that I'm imagining it.

It's not in the way he's acting, not exactly, and it's not even the way he looks, that to the naked eye is still the same, he's still beautiful. But, once you've been hell's bitch you can see things others can't and I can see it in him now, hovering there.

It makes me wonder if it has always been there, and before I was just too blind to see it. Even when I was seeing demons just before I was taken to hell, I didn't see it, but I do now and it fucking kills me to look at him.

So, no, I haven't went near him, not in the entire week since I've been back.

We've left Bobby's now and we're back on the road. Business as usual. Only I'm keeping my eyes firmly on the road, not even sneaking the little peeks at him that I use to when I didn't think he was looking.

I can feel him looking at me every so often and I'm dreading his asking me. Dreading the fight that will follow when he wants to know what's wrong, why I've been so distant. I could just blame it on myself, take the blame for things like I always did, always have, always will.

We finally hit the town we're heading to, someplace in the middle of Bumfuk, Egypt and there's a motel up ahead so I pull in, parking in front to the office, I pull open my door without even looking at him, I tell Sam, "Gonna get a room," as I slide from behind the wheel out of the car and closing the car door behind me.

As I walk into the office, I can feel his eyes on me. There was a time when it would have made me smile, made me happy, hell, it would have made me hard as hell, who am I kidding?

But not this time, not now, not anymore. Instead I feel like I should be watching my back, like I could use a partner to watch my partner. And it bugs the shit outta me cause it's Sam.

I walk back out of the office a few minutes later, two room keys in my hand, and open my car door, sliding back behind the wheel. I toss a key in Sam's direction, not even really looking. "Room 8," I tell him as I put the car in reverse and back out. I drive the Impala over in front of the room, park and turn off the engine.

Grabbing the door handle, I start to get out when I hear him say my name softly, like he's unsure. "Dean," he says, and I know if I look over I'm gonna hate myself for it, because instead of my innocent little brother, I'm gonna see my little brother with this evil cloud like film over him, tainting him; making my stomach twist up in knots. 

So, I pause, "What Sam?" I ask him, but he doesn't answer, forcing me to look at him, and there it is. That haze I can see now that just sort of clings to him, covers him.

He sighs and shakes his head, looking down with that puppy eye thing that use to do me in every time, but not this time, not anymore. I can't let it. So, instead I pull from the car with a sigh, close the door behind me and walk around to the trunk. I grab our bags and close the trunk, and that's about the time he gets out of the car, laptop, in it's case, slung over one shoulder.

He tries to take his bag from me and our hands touch. It makes me jerk away from him like he burned me. I see the look on his face, confused and hurt.

I don't know what to say to him, so I don't say anything at all, just walk up to the room and unlock the door, and go inside.

I'm taking off my leather, bag tossed on the floor by my bed, when he walks in and goes to his bed silently.

I glance his way, but quickly look away again, throwing my jacket over the back of a chair. We've hardly talked at all since I came back, just a few words here and there, nothing of real importance so I know my emo brother is probably freaking out... unless he isn't emo anymore.

I sigh at that thought as it occurs to me that maybe I don't know him at all anymore.

I sigh as I toe off my boots, then head for the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I lean back against the door, face up turned as I sigh softly. I know what I have to do, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I made a promise a long time ago. Made it to Dad, to Sam. I know what I have to do, and I know it's the right thing, but again...it doesn't make it any easier. With a sigh I pull away from the door and start to strip off my clothes, get ready for bed.

After I finish doing my business in the bathroom, stuffing my dirty clothes into my duffel, I walk out the door, back out where I find Sam already in bed, covered to his waist, turned on his side toward the wall, asleep... or at least pretending to be.

I walk to my bed, sitting down on the side and drop my duffel, reaching for the weapons duffel. Bringing it up onto my lap, I unzip it and reach inside, pulling out the knife we got from Ruby and setting it on the bed. I take a quick peek at Sam to make sure he's still "asleep" and he is.

After zipping the duffel closed again, I place it quietly onto the floor, then reach for the knife as I pull to my feet.

I walk over to Sammy's bed then, bending to lay the knife on the floor beside his bed, before I reach out and lift the blankets and climb into his bed behind him, snuggling up to him, wrapping my arm around him.

I bury my face in his neck and breath in the scent that is my brother, my friend, my partner, my lover and it makes my chest ache, tears sting my eyes, but I blink them away.

Pulling my head back a little, I whisper to him, "Sammy, baby? You awake?"  
I feel him stiffen in my arms for a second before he rolls over, looking at me like he's confused, or maybe like I am, I'm not sure which.

I smile at him as I pull him into my arms, lean in and kiss his lips softly at first, then harder, pushing my tongue into his mouth, past those soft lips. I moan as I taste him for the first time in months. Sammy. My Sammy.

My hands are running all over his body, caressing, feeling, exploring. I can't seem to get enough of him. I think if I could I'd just crawl up inside him in that moment, and some part of me thinks that this can't be healthy. To want someone this much.

Want to be this close to them every waking moment of every day. No, Dean Winchester is not a girl, but when it comes to how I feel about Sam...I get awful damn close. So close it scares me.

My hands run down his back, grip his ass cheeks in both hands and pull him up against me, grind my hips, my hard cock against him, letting him know what I want so there's no confusion. I hear him moan, his arms are wrapped around me and now his fingertips are digging into the skin of my back where his hand is resting, the other is lower, against the small of my back, his hand moving, fingers curling and uncurling against my skin.

I pull my head back finally, breaking the kiss, though I nip at his bottom lip as I do, my eyes are gazing into his slightly slanted hazel ones. "Missed you so bad, Sammy." I whisper to him, before dipping my head to kiss, nip and suck at his neck, my tongue running over the bites to sooth them.

"Dean... Want you..." he pants out as I continue my assault on his neck, my hands molding his ass cheeks against me.

I push him back so he's under me, one hand going to his boxers to cup his shaft through the material, as I lean down and pick up his shirt with my teeth.

"Take it off, Sam or I'm gonna rip it off." I all but growl at him as his shirt slips from between my teeth.

His lips are parted his eyes full of lust as he looks up at me, swallows and nods as he reaches for the hem of his shirt to take it off and I stop him, grinning down at him. "Wiggle out of it," I tell him.

He frowns at me like I just grew a second head all confused and cute, even goes as far as saying a breathy, "Huh?"

I just keep grinning as I move my hand from his boxer clad cock, to slip my hand under the waistband, wrapping my fingers around his length, stroking him slowly.

He moans and closes his eyes slowly, then opens them again, because he's waiting for me to explain. I just shake my head, "Wiggle out of it. Wiggle against the bed and get it off," I tell him, my voice soft and husky as I think about it.

He shakes his head, licks his lips, "Dean," I shake my head cutting him off as I start to pull my hand away from his cock only to have him buck up into it, a small whimper leaving him. I raise a brow at him, grinning again, "Then wiggle."

He presses his lips together in a thin line as his brows furrow, then he starts wiggling against the bed, trying to get the shirt to come up his body. I'm stroking his cock and watching him, grinding my rock hard cock, that's till trapped under my boxers against his body. He's huffing and breathing heavy and I can tell he's getting frustrated cause the dam shirt just won't rise, not far enough, and he wants it to, wants to do what I told him so that I won't stop.

I'm grinning, and finally I take pity on him and pull back, though my hand is still on his cock, still stroking. "Sit up, Sam, take it off."

He almost springs up in the bed as he quickly tears the shirt off of himself, then he's attacking my mouth with his, his tongue delving into my mouth, tongue tangling with my own and I moan into his mouth as his hand finds it's way to my cock, rubbing against my boxers.

Tearing my lips away from his I pull my hand out of his boxers, only to be awarded with a frustrated huff that makes me chuckle softly. "Boxers, Sam," I murmur.

Withing seconds we're both naked and now he's laying back again as I lay on him, my hips thrusting, rubbing our dicks against each others.

"Dean... please..." he's instant and for the first time...ever, I don't want to rush it, maybe because I know what the light of day is going to bring. 

Maybe because I just want to live here, in this moment, my arms wrapped around my Sammy for as long as I can, but he's not having any of that. He's pulling at me, thrusting his hips upward into me, arching his back.

"Okay, Sammy. Okay, baby," I say softly as I pull back from him, my lips trailing across his flesh, kissing my way down his body, memorizing every detail, every contour, every ripple of muscle under my lips and tongue.

I need this, need to be able to always carry it with me, tucked away deep inside my heart. I know he doesn't understand, but it's just the way it is.

I make my way over to one nipple and run my tongue around it, then nip at the sensitive bud, pulling back slightly, until I get a gasp out of him, then I run my tongue over it again, easing the sting, make my way over to the opposite and do the same, and again, I coax that sexy ass gasp from those lips I love so damn much.

Making may way further downward, I trail kisses, nips, my tongue across his flesh, my tongue dipping into his bellybutton, circling the skin, lapping at it for a moment, before I continue lower. His hands are in my hair now, pushing me, tangled in the short strands. His breathing his as ragged as my own as I reach his cock and take him unceremoniously into my mouth, making him cry out at the shock of it.

The sound going straight to my own dick, making it twitch where it stands tall and hard against my stomach. "Fuck, Sammy." I growl out as I let his cock fall from my lips and look up at him. His hands fall from my hair as I pull my head up and I give him a small smirk, just before I bring two fingers to my own lips slowly,my eyes locked with his as I take my fingers into my mouth and suck on them, wetting them as my other hand strokes his cock.

He closes his eyes and swallows, before opening those eyes of his, looking up at me again. Eyes full of trust and love and.. my heart twists in my chest and I have to tear my gaze away as I lower my hand and slowly insert my fingers into his tight hole.

I feel him stiffen up at first, hear the gasp and look up to see him biting his lower lip. He shakes his head at me, "Don't stop, Dean. Don't stop," he whispers.

I nod at him and start to slowly move my fingers inside him. Slowly, I feel him relax, and soon his thrusting back against my hand, his head tilted back, lips parted.

He looks to fucking hot like that, I sometimes use to wonder if he knew it and did it on purpose to drive me insane.

After a few more minutes, when I can't take it any fucking more without blowing my fucking wad just looking at him, I pull my fingers out and line up the head of my cock with his puckered hole, then glance up at his face.

"Do it, Dean. Just do it," he tells me breathlessly and it's my undoing as I find myself pushing into him a hell of a lot faster then I had meant to.

Sam's head is tilted back, mouth open in a silent scream as I push my way balls deep into him. "Fuck, Sammy!" I ground out between clenched teeth. "So tight, so fucking tight." My hand is still pumping his cock, harder, faster now.

I lean over him then, hold still while he adjusts to me, kissing is neck, sucking hard on the tender flesh there, making more bruises form. My hand on his cock slowing just a bit, just enough to relax him.

Pulling my head back, I look down at him, "Ready, baby?" I ask him, see him nod.  
I pull my hips back, slamming forward and watch as his eyes close tight, the breath coming out of him in a rush, moaning.

Soon I find a rhythm, somewhere between fast and hard and slow and easy, it's neither and yet it's both, but it's so good, I think I could possibly die right here and be happy about it.

My mouth is all over him, kissing him, lips, neck, shoulder, cheeks, jaw. I just can't get enough of him as I thrust into him, my hand again working his cock faster, harder, rougher.

His arms are around me, his hands searching my body, running over my skin, like he's mapping me out.

All too soon, I feel him tense under me, and I know he's close. So very close.  
Any orgasm that might have been near me is suddenly swept away by the knowledge that his is approaching and the want, the desire to see it, to hear and feel it.

"I love you, Dean." I hear him whisper out and I almost lose my nerve, I almost can't do it. But then, I remember all the times that my innocent sweet Sam begged me, the look on his face all the times he made me promise, made me swear to him.

I swallow hard, swallow back the lump in my throat, as I choke out the words, "Love you too, baby, always."

And then he's coming, moaning loud, saying my name. He's coming all over my hand, I can feel his hot seed running down my hand between us, smearing on our stomachs. I dip my head, face against his neck and breath in the scent of him, just before I pull away from him, my fisted hand coming down hard, straight and true, driving Ruby's knife right into his heart, as tears run down my face.

He looks up at me, eyes wide with shock. I almost couldn't grab Ruby's knife as I leaned over him, as he said he loved me, I had almost chickened out, but then, at the last moment, I hurriedly had wrapped m fingers around it just before I sat back, just as his orgasm was about to subside.

He's bleeding now, blood oozing from the wound onto the bed and down, hitting my knee. His blood as warm as his spunk had been a few moments before.

I watch him open his mouth to speak, only to choke on the blood that it filling it. I shake my head and reach up with a hand, cover his mouth. Tears are blurring my vision. "It's okay, Sammy. I kept my promise. I kept it, just like you asked me to." I tell him through my tears, my heart aching so bad, I want to just die right there with him. "I love you, Sammy." I tell him softly, as I lean down, uncover his mouth, pulling my hand away and kiss his lips softly with my own. He goes completely still under me then. And I close my eyes tightly as sobs rack my body, my arms going around him, holding him to me.

I don't know how long it has been, I don't know if I held him for hours like that or minutes, but finally, I slowly pull back and look down at him.

His eyes are still open, the look of shock is frozen on his face. Slightly slanted hazel eyes once so full of life and innocence, no longer hold that spark, but stare off lifelessly into nothingness.

I pull an arm out from around him slowly, raising a shaking hand, I run it over his eyes, closing them forever in eternal sleep.

My brother, my friend, my partner, my lover, my Sammy, is tainted no more.

I wrap my arm back around him as I lean back down and whisper in his ear The Last Rites through my tears.


End file.
